Funny Quotes.
Like us: FBSTATUSPOINT
1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady
to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-
year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown
2. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather
who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming
like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers
3. “Politicians and diapers have one thing in
common. They should both be changed regularly,
and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de
Queiroz
4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during
an argument when you realize you’re wrong” -
Unknown
5. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian
Gerald O’Driscoll
6. “Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde
7. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.” - Abraham
Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’
17:28)
8. “The shinbone is a device for finding furniture
in a dark room.” - Unknown
9. “The hardest thing in the world to understand
is income taxes.” - Albert Einstein
10. “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.” - Unknown
11. “Patience is something you admire in the
driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” - Bill
McGlashen
12. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack
ambition.” - Marilyn Monroe
13. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze
pilots wore helmets” - Al McGuire
14. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was
so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old
man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I
was astonished at how much he had learned in
seven years.” - Mark Twain
15. “Why is the place you drive on is a parkway,
and the place you park on is the driveway?” -
Unknown
16. ”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the
up button.” - Sam Levenson
17. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try
missing a couple of payments.” - Earl Wilson
18. “Men marry women with the hope they will
never change. Women marry men with the hope
they will change. Invariably they are both
disappointed.” - Albert Einstein
19. “The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will
Rogers
20. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.” - Steven Wright
1. ”How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady
to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-
year-old lady to yell ‘BINGO!’” - Unknown
2. “When I die, I want to die like my grandfather
who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming
like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers
3. “Politicians and diapers have one thing in
common. They should both be changed regularly,
and for the same reason.” - José Maria de Eça de
Queiroz
4. ”Nothing sucks more than that moment during
an argument when you realize you’re wrong” -
Unknown
5. “Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit;
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” - Brian
Gerald O’Driscoll
6. “Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go” - Oscar Wilde
7. “Better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.” - Abraham
Lincoln (paraphrase from the Bible, ‘Proverbs’
17:28)
8. “The shinbone is a device for finding furniture
in a dark room.” - Unknown
9. “The hardest thing in the world to understand
is income taxes.” - Albert Einstein
10. “I don’t suffer from insanity; I enjoy every
minute of it.” - Unknown
11. “Patience is something you admire in the
driver behind you, but not in one ahead.” - Bill
McGlashen
12. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack
ambition.” - Marilyn Monroe
13. “The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze
pilots wore helmets” - Al McGuire
14. “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was
so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old
man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I
was astonished at how much he had learned in
seven years.” - Mark Twain
15. “Why is the place you drive on is a parkway,
and the place you park on is the driveway?” -
Unknown
16. ”If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the
up button.” - Sam Levenson
17. “If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try
missing a couple of payments.” - Earl Wilson
18. “Men marry women with the hope they will
never change. Women marry men with the hope
they will change. Invariably they are both
disappointed.” - Albert Einstein
19. “The quickest way to double your money is to
fold it over and put it back in your pocket.” - Will
Rogers
20. “I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your
horn louder.” - Steven Wright
No comments:
Post a Comment